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August 3, 2009 - Godly Friendship

Godly Friendship is extremely important.  Perhaps the best example of Godly Friendship I can find is found in I Samuel 23.  This chapter helps us understand the unique fellowship Jonathan and David shared and the ingredients needed to shape a lasting friendship.

Jonathan and David were total opposites.  Jonathan was well-educated, multi-talented, privileged and the son of King Saul.  David was a poor shepherd boy, who was mocked by his brothers and discouraged by his father.  Yet God saw David’s heart and passion and ultimately gave him great power and authority over others.  God described David as “A man after God’s heart”.

In I Sam.23 we read how Saul was envious of David and how the great king plotted to kill the young lad.  But Jonathan knew the evilness of his dad’s heart and decided to protect and defend his friend David.  Upon reading this chapter we can come glean five traits that help us think about Godly Friend.

1. Be a giver and look for opportunities to meet a friend’s needs.  In verse 16 we read, “And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.”  Jonathan knew David needed to be encouraged and assisted in his faith.  Jonathan denied his rightful position to inherit the throne so he could give love and support to his friend. 
2. Be aware of your commitments.   Jonathan knew how important it was to David that he follows through with his promise to protect and defend his friend.  Whatever the pressure from his father and others, Jonathan stood beside David and focused upon God’s promise for this valiant warrior. “Don’t be afraid, he said.  My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you.” Vs. 17 A true commitment may require self-sacrifice.
3. Affirm God’s purpose and plan.  Help paint a bright, but realistic, future for your friend.  Jonathan knew of God’s ultimate plan for David and chose to support that vision over his cruel father’s intentions.  It may have been this incident that caused David later to write, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me (or lift me up).” Ps. 27:10
4.  Articulate your loyalty and encouragement.  “You will be king,” stated Jonathan.  He expressed his loyalty with a covenant before God.  He encouraged David with positive words of love and commitment.
5. Value your commitments.  Godly character is expressed with Godly actions and attitudes.  Jonathan modeled unconditional acceptance (1 Sam. 15:55), uncommon commitment, and an unquestionable vulnerability. 
6. Be willing to forgive and forget.  Jonathan was willing to forget the past and focus upon David’s future. He chose not to remember David’s shortcomings but elected to think about his strengths.

Jonathan was drawn to David’s character.  Despite the challenges and even the possibility of a major confrontation, Jonathan stayed by the side of David.  He recognized his calling and wanted to be sure David had the support, encouragement and confidence he needed to fulfill God’s plan for his life.  Friendship is often self-sacrificing. But the fruits of having a “servant’s heart” to one another is really rewarding.  

Perhaps the most appealing aspect of the relationship between David and Jonathan is that Godly Friendship can only be found when men first seek to have Godly Character.  Without Godly Character the trust, confidence, encouragement and support needed to foster a wonderful friendship cannot be found.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.”  Jesus